Bizzare English Translations

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.
If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. - Here speeching American.