Funny Jokes Blogger

These are genuine extracts from letters received by the Ministry of Social Security, which deals with Public Welfare:

1. I am glad to state that my husband died yesterday, I will be glad if you will get me a pension. If you don't hurry up with it, I wull have to get public resistance.

2. I am enclosing my marriage certificate with three children. One of them is a mistake as you will see when you look into it. I am writing to say that my youngest is born two years old. Why am I not getting allowance for it?

3. I enclose certificate with six children. One of them is a twin and died. You ask if he is christened. Yes, he was baptised on half a sheet of paper by a certain Chaplain in the Salvation Army.

4. The man I live with won't work as he wants to know if my husband is dead. Will you search the records for him and let me know?

5. I am writing to you truly, yes, I was confirmed with a boy weighing ten pounds. Let me know if this is what you want to know because I have fallen in error with the Landlord and need it badly to pay the rent.

6. In accordance with your instructions I gave birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

7. I want money badly as quick as you can send it. I have been in bed with the doctor for a week and he doesn't seem to be doing any good. If things don't improve I will have to get another doctor.

8. Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

9. Re your dental enquiry. The teeth at the top are all right, but the ones in my bottom are hurting terribly.

10. Please send me a form for cheap milk. I have a baby two months old and did not know anything about it until a neighbour told me.

11. Please send me a form for milk as I am stagnant.

12. Please send me a form for cheap milk for having babies at reduced rates.

13. My son has been unable to attend school. He has had diarrhoea through a hole in his shoe.