Merging Preference

Directors at Daimler-Benz and Chrysler have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotions, Directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c."

Also the hard "c" will be replaced with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers kan have 1 less letter. There will be a growing kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, Daimler-Khrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.

Daimler-Khrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a determent to akkurate spelling. Also, all will agree that the horrible mess of silent "e's" in the language is disgrakeful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, people will be resepetive to steps such as replaking "th" with "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unekessary "o" kan be dropped from vords kontaining "ou", and similiar khanges vuld of kors be applied to all ozer kombinations of letters.

After zis fifz year, ve vill hav a really sensible vriten style. Zere vill be no more trubls or diffikultis and employee's vill find it easy to komunikat viz each ozer.

Ov kourse all suppliers vill be expekted to svitsh to zis for all business kommuniktion via Daimler-Khrysler.

Ze dream vill finally kome true.