Computer Tips

* Buy a Pentium 686/300, so you can reboot faster.

* 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2 (especially with the old Pentium chip).

* Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

* My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.

* C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL

* C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN

* Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put in new ones.

* The name is Baud... James Baud.

* Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

* C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

* Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! STAAAY...

* Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or file name!"

* As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

* Backups? We don't need no stinking backups.

* E Pluribus Modem

* C:\ File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

* A mainframe: the biggest PC peripheral available.

* An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

* CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?

* A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.

* 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.

* Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

* Windows: Just another pain in the glass.

* SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

* RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

* All computers wait at the same speed.

* Computer (dfn): A device designed to speed and automate errors.

* Press to continue ...Smash forehead on keyboard to continue... Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... Just do something!!

* E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

* Help! I've modemed and I can't hang up!!

* All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

* Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

* "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

* DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS

* Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

* Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

* Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.

* Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"

* Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

* Read my chips: No new upgrades!

* Hit any user to continue.

* 2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!

* I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!

* Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

* Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.

* Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (V)omit

* (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?

* If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

* Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate
objects.

* Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand."

* Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.

* Relax, it's only ONES and ZEROS!

* Will configure ones and zeros for food!

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