Funny Jokes Blogger

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head.

The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter.

The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half."

The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"

The boy replied, "Minnesota sir."

"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota" asked the manager.

The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there." Really replied the manager, "My wife is from Minnesota!!" The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.