Funny Jokes Blogger

This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the Head man do his job. We expect that 1998 will be the most challenging. Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet rewarding program? Check this out:

* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political sceneof the hottest city in the world!
* Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
* See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!
* Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!

Sound like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former intern:

"I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the president... ...Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just fantastic!"
* M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif.

As you can see, being a White House intern is more than long hours, hot debates and touchy national issues. Still interested? Fill out the information form below and send it back to the White House at
president@whitehouse.gov

Name: ____________
Hometown: ____________
Sex: F__ Age: ____
Measurements:
(required for medical purposes)
____-____-____

How many beers it takes to
get you...
... Giggly
... Drunk
... Hot
... To lie to a federal prosecutor

Quick quiz:
You've always considered the
White House:
a) a monument to democracy
b) the place where great
leaders meet
c) vaguely erotic
d) extremely erotic

Hillary Clinton is a(n):
a) model wife and mother
b) icon of late 20th century
femininity
c) an obstacle
d) inappropriate companion for
the leader of the free world

You've always wanted to know more about the President's:
a) MidEast policies
b) childhood in Hope, Ark
c) romper room
d) "monument to democracy"

My social life as an intern would likely consist of:
a) hitting Georgetown bars
with the other interns
b) reading and studying
c) late nights working at
the White House
d) late nights working the
White House

Score 1 point for each A, 2 for each B, 3 for each C, and 4 for each D. Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call soon.

Uncle Bill wants you !

A man was walking on the sidewalk and noticed up ahead that little Johnny was wearing a red fire man's hat and sitting in a red wagon. It appeared that the wagon was being pulled slowly by a large Labrador Retriever.

When he got closer to the lad, he noticed that Johnny had a rope tied around the dog's testicles, which probably accounted for why the dog was walking so gingerly.

Smiling, he spoke to the little boy, "That's really a nice fire engine you have there son, but I'll bet the dog would pull you faster if you tied that rope around his neck."

"Yeah," Johnny replied, "but then I wouldn't have a siren."

I am facing a very serious problem. You see, I am a Vietnam-era deserter from the U. S. Marines, and I have a cousin who works for Microsoft. My mother peddles Nazi literature to Girl Scouts and my father (a former dentist) is in jail for 30 years for molesting most of his patients while they were under anesthesia.

The sole supports of our large family, including myself and my $500-a-week heroin habit, are my uncle (master pick pocket, Benny "The Fingers"), my 70-year-old aunt Hester (a shoplifter), and my two kid sisters, who are well-known streetwalkers.

My problem is this: I have just gotten engaged to the most beautiful, sweetest girl in the world. She is just sweet sixteen, and we are going to marry as soon as she can escape from reform school.

To support ourselves, we are going to move to Mexico and start a fake Aztec souvenir factory staffed by child labor. We look forward to bringing our kids into the family business.

But I am worried that my family will not make a good impression on hers. In your opinion, Should I, or shouldn't I, tell her about my cousin who works for Microsoft?